Lady Gouldian Read online

  At once, my heart picks up speed at the mere mention of him. The move to Lacroix has kept my mind busy. I kept any thoughts of Asa to only when I was lying in bed by myself. Just as I did when I was at Brignac House. In a way, it was nice. Memories of him were like an intimate ghost that came to comfort me because I would never have the real person.

  I clear my throat and ask with indifference. “Asa?”

  Recognizing his blunder, Livingston stops sorting through the papers and lifts his head. “I … uh.” He clears his throat. “Yes, I spoke to him because he’s actively involved with AT&T. Well, technically, Southern Bell Telephone and Telegraph Company. Most recently, he’s begun to work at the regional office here in Charleston.” He quickly looks back down at the papers in front of him.

  I had forgotten about Asa’s involvement with AT&T. He had mentioned it to me in passing several years ago. I remember sharing his excitement. I remember building that piece of information into my new life I was dreaming up with him. And then everything was so cruelly ripped away…

  “It’s best I sold my shares,” Livingston continues. “I love money as much as the next man, but I love Rainey more.”

  Livingston’s words are heartbreakingly sweet. I can feel my heart drop to my stomach at his words because I don’t know if I’ll ever have someone make such sacrifices for me. “You want to try and give her the best,” I say aloud.

  My humorous brother now stares at me solemnly, as though my statement is preposterous to say because it’s clear to see. “Of course.”

  Everyone at one point in their life will need protection. And most of us will try to find it in the arms of another trusting soul.

  For me, it’s always been one person I relied on. That person is now married and starting a life with someone else.

  Yet here I am, contemplating the idea of asking him for help.

  “Don’t forget, Alex’s birthday is a few days away,” Livingston says distractedly as he turns his attention back to the documents.

  I nod, thoughtfully. “I won’t.”

  “Ahh, here you are!” Livingston pulls out a thin sheet of paper and holds it out in front of him victoriously. He flicks the corner of it. “You’ve been hidin’ from me, but now I’ve found you.”

  I let my brother celebrate his small victory and walk back to my room, determined to have victory of my own. All I need to do is figure out how to talk to Asa Calhoun like the past never occurred and I still did not love him.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  1900

  Nathalie

  “Happy Birthday! Make the best of wishes, Nattie,” Momma said.

  “Don’t tell her that,” Julian groaned. “We’ll be here all night while she thinks of the perfect wish.” Impatiently, my brother moved from foot to foot, his eyes never wavering from the chocolate cake in front of me.

  Momma shook her head and smiled at me. “Give your sister time.”

  “Yes. This is a crucial age. You’re thirteen, right?” Daddy said with a smile.

  I tilted my head to look up at him. “No, I’m nine!”

  “No, no. Julian is fifteen and there’s two years between the two of you. That makes you thirteen.”

  My chin dipped down as I grinned. “No, there’s six years, and I’m nine,” I stated confidently.

  Daddy smiled back, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Ah, if you say so. Make a wish, my beautiful girl.”

  Placing my palms on the table, I faced the cake in front of me and grinned. Birthdays were not lavish events for my family, as one would expect.

  They were quiet celebrations with no one but the family and close friends. This year, I just wanted my family. I felt almost selfish and wanted their love and attention on me for one day rather than spent chatting with birthday guests.

  The only thing missing was Livingston and Étienne. They had to work, though.

  Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and blew out the candles. My parents clapped and Julian reluctantly joined in. I smiled at the three of them, experiencing such happiness my heart felt as though it was going to burst. I wished I could feel this way forever.

  Daddy gestured to his seat at the head of the table. “Nattie, come sit. Today is your day, and we honor you.”

  My smile was so wide, my cheeks hurt. Momma cut the cake and placed the pieces onto plates. The whole time she managed to ignore Julian’s request for the biggest slice. I didn’t mind. He could have the largest piece if he wanted. I was just happy to have my family here.

  Everyone had to work lately, including Daddy. Momma said the shipping company kept Daddy engrossed, although I’ve heard Momma and Daddy talking about businesses Daddy had invested in. He seemed most enthusiastic about one. It had to do with oil. Daddy’s already traveled to speak with other investors within the company. At least that was what Momma said. I begged and pleaded that he take me with him. I would love to travel with him. It sounded like such a great adventure! But he said no. Although last time, he said that when the weather was better in New York, we could make a family trip of it and perhaps even see Aunt Christine!

  “Is your birthday everythin’ you thought it would be?” Daddy asked.

  Eyes wide with happiness, I nodded. “Oh, yes. This is the best day. I love everythin’.”

  “Even that silly dress you got?” Julian asked, his face twisting up, as if he ate something sour.

  “Julian,” Momma admonished, “be nice.”

  “I loved everythin’,” I repeated. When Momma turned her head, I stuck my tongue out at Julian. He glowered at me. In turn, I smiled cheekily, but stopped short when I saw my daddy watching the two of us. He shook his head, but his eyes danced with merriment.

  “Perhaps next year Liv and Étienne can be here with us,” Momma said as she sat back down, a piece of cake in front of her.

  “And Rainey, too?” I asked around a mouth full of cake.

  “Manners, dear heart,” Momma gently reminded. “Speak after you’re done eatin’, and I believe that would be a wonderful idea.” Momma briefly looked at Daddy. “If Rainey’s momma permits her.”

  My legs excitedly swung back and forth beneath the table, although I told myself not to get too excited. Ever since Rainey’s daddy died, her momma had been fiercely protective of Rainey. Mrs. Pleasonton went through her mourning period and even had Rainey wear black. Now that it had been a year, Rainey could wear muted clothes of muted colors, but Mrs. Pleasonton refused to wear anything but black and hardly left her home. When my family visited the Pleasonton home, Momma and Mrs. Pleasonton spoke in the sitting room privately. Sometimes their eyes would be tear stained, other times, they weren’t. Rainey said being with her momma made her sad. Every time I saw Mrs. Pleasonton, I carefully observed her. She hid her sadness quite well. She was always nice to me, but the happiness she had before was gone. The corners of her lips appeared weighed down.

  Being around Mrs. Pleasonton didn’t make me sad. It scared me.

  That loss and life could intermingle so easily and take so freely was terrifying. I never wanted to die or the people I loved to die. I never wanted to wear the expression Mrs. Pleasonton now did.

  I watched as Julian put too much cake into his mouth just as I had done, causing Momma to scold him. This time, Momma sat beside Daddy. Their hands remained intertwined. I was lucky to have the family I did.

  “What did you wish for?” Julian asked, once he was done eating the giant piece of cake.

  I shook my head and looked down at my plate. “I can’t tell you, or it won’t come true.”

  Julian rolled his eyes. “That’s not true.”

  “Don’t listen to your brother, Nattie. He’s just bein’ difficult. All wishes will come true.”

  I beamed from Momma’s words and ate another slice of my cake. I wished for everything in my life to stay precisely the way it was. Most of all, I wished to have a life and love as perfect as the one my parents created.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Nathalie


  “This might be the first time I’ve ever been uncomfortable steppin’ through the front doors of Belgrave,” I murmur to Rainey.

  As we ascend the porch stairs, Rainey looks at me. “Why?” Before I can answer her, she winces. “Oh, silly me. I know why. Her.”

  I nod, and faintly repeat that singular word, “Her.”

  “I don’t think you have much to fret over; this is a child’s birthday party.

  Behind us, Livingston escorts Rainey’s momma, Mrs. Pleasonton. While my heart was stuck in my throat nearly the entire time during the drive to Belgrave, there were moments I was soothed by Livingston, Rainey, and her momma’s presence. Everything felt balanced and calm, long enough for me to take a deep breath and sort my thoughts.

  This is my family. I have no reason to be uncomfortable around them, and I should be happy to be at one of Alex’s birthday parties. For so many years, I’ve wanted to be here for these special moments. As for Asa, when I see him, I need to be matter of fact. I need to be honest and straightforward about my intent. There’s a very high chance he will say no, but I have to try. I must make the effort. I will have to accept his no and continue with my search for a job.

  That’s what I need to keep my mind focused on. Not seeing Juliet with Asa. But getting a job.

  Thankfully, we’re one of the first guests to arrive. I have time to prepare myself for Asa’s arrival, his wife, and what other guests that may have been invited. Alex’s birthday is not a large gathering, but I know there will be eyes and ears everywhere. I need to show no emotion and remain politely indifferent so there will be nothing to write about in the paper.

  As Rainey and I walk into the sitting room, she glances at my dress before she arches a brow. She leans in and says, “If you’re uncomfortable, one couldn’t tell by your attire. You’re dressed to kill.”

  I look down at my attire. The yellow, silk chiffon dress that Serene generously purchased for me at the dress shop. My tea dress is no different than Rainey’s velveteen and satin dress, with its embroidery around the neckline. However, I would be lying if I said I didn’t take special care in getting dressed and with my appearance. My hair is up in a simple coiffure, with a bandeau tied around my hair.

  “Suce Asa jusqu’à l’os,” Rainey murmurs.

  I try to keep a straight face, but at my friend’s words, I fail.

  “What are the two of you whisperin’ about in French?” Mrs. Pleasonton asks as she walks up to us.

  Rainey straightens her shoulders, looking like every well-behaved Southern beauty. If you were meeting her for the first time, you would never know the untamed wildness that lingered beneath.

  “Your daughter was encouragin’ my sister to be a fellow savauge like herself,” Livingston says, as he smoothly steps toward the three of us.

  “Raina,” Mrs. Pleasonton admonishes.

  “Really, Raina,” Livingston says in mock disappointment before he winks at her.

  Rainey narrows her gaze at him, ready to do battle. Livingston’s smile broadens as he watches her.

  Luckily, Mrs. Pleasonton speaks before the two of them attack one another with words. “What type of refreshments do we have available?” Mrs. Pleasonton asks.

  He looks around, before he shrugs. “I don’t know, perhaps some sweet tea?”

  Mrs. Pleasonton places a hand over her chest, as though my brother’s words are a personal affront to her. “Oh, that won’t do. That’s a sad, little drink for a picnic… or a tea party.”

  “Or a child’s birthday party,” Rainey chimes in.

  Mrs. Pleasonton waves her words away. “Never mind that. I need somethin’ more spirited.”

  Livingston does his best not to smile. “If you need spirited then I can go to Étienne’s office and take one of the whiskey bottles from his liquor cabinet. That’s sure to put some energy back into you.”

  “My word,” Rainey murmurs to herself.

  Mrs. Pleasonton begins to answer but looks over Livingston’s shoulder. A large bowl filled to the brim with golden water and sliced lemons on top. “I do believe there will be no need for that. I think I see my favorite punch. Please excuse me.”

  Mrs. Pleasonton nearly shoves the three of us and makes her way to the table that’s still in the process of being filled with finger foods, plates and cups.

  In the south, it seems as though every city has their own drink of spirits with the sole purpose of laying every person who has a sip, flat on their face. It’s delightful with the sugar and citrus, but the brandy and whiskey are what does the most damage.

  “If anyone can handle their whiskey, it’s your momma,” Livingston says to Rainey as we watch Mrs. Pleasonton pour herself a generous cup of the punch.

  “You can admire her ability to hold her whiskey while you help me take her home after this party,” Rainey replies dryly.

  “I’d be happy to,” Livingston answers pleasantly and turns to Rainey. “Tell me, after I take her home, can I escort you to my home?”

  The corner of Rainey’s mouth lifts. At his question, my face scrunches up. “You know I live with you, right?” I ask.

  Livingston hardly pays me any mind. His focus is on Rainey. “What’s your answer?”

  “You are incorrigible.”

  Livingston wiggles both brows. “Is that a yes, le savauge?”

  I need to step away, because it’s evident they don’t mind me standing here, hearing everything they’re saying. I love that the two of them have found one another, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a tad bit bizarre to see my best friend engaged to my brother.

  “Nat, Rainey!” I turn and see Serene in the doorway, cradling Trace to her chest. She walks over to us. “My two favorite ladies. And Leonore, you found the punch that’s liable to knock a horse out. I’m glad! Étienne insisted we have it.”

  Eyes wide, Mrs. Pleasonton nods and takes a sip of her drink.

  When Mrs. Pleasonton first met Serene, she didn’t care much for her. She found Serene “too progressive” and “forward,” but the two of them have formed a friendship while they helped Rainey plan for her wedding. Perhaps she realized that behind Serene’s blunt words is a kind, caring person.

  But that doesn’t mean I can’t be secretly entertained whenever Serene opens her mouth.

  Once everyone is done exchanging pleasantries, Rainey gives Serene the present she’s been holding onto the entire drive to Belgrave. Rainey’s nearly hopping from foot to foot with anticipation. She was never the best at holding secrets. The small ones that contained joy at least.

  Serene brushes her fingers across the white ribbon perfectly tied across the wrapping paper. “What did you get her?”

  “The book Étienne said she wanted.”

  “She’ll love it.”

  I look at the present in Serene’s hand and immediately feel embarrassed. “I’m terribly sorry I don’t have a gift for her.”

  “Hush,” Serene replies at once. “Your gift to Alex is coming back home, yes?”

  Grateful for her words, I nod and wait for the embarrassment to ease, but it doesn’t. I watch as Mrs. Pleasonton makes her way over to admire Trace. Meanwhile, Étienne steps into the room. Livingston is immediately at his side and begins talking with him.

  “While the three of us are together, I have a question to ask you, Nathalie,” Rainey says.

  “All right.”

  I look to Serene. She stands beside Rainey, nearly bouncing from foot to foot herself.

  “I asked Serene some time ago to be one of my bridesmaids. And I wanted to ask you sooner, but I didn’t know when you would be in Charleston, but now that you’re here, I would love nothin’ more for you to be a bridesmaid.” Rainey smiles. “If you want.”

  I look at my friend as though she’s gone mad. “Why do you even ask? Of course, I will!”

  With a burst of laughter, Rainey leans in to hug me. “I didn’t know if you would still want to.” She pulls back, her smile dimming ever so slightly. “I know your transi
tion has been… difficult.”

  “Well, nothin’ could stop me from bein’ in your weddin’.”

  “Excellent.” Rainey claps her hands together and looks between Serene and me. “We’ll, talk more about the weddin’ later then, yes?”

  Nodding, I listen to Serene and Rainey discuss Trace and his sleeping and feeding routine. Mrs. Pleasonton asks if he’s been fussy anymore, and it dawns on me that perhaps I wasn’t feeling embarrassment. Maybe it was discomfort, because while I was gone, Serene and Rainey formed a friendship. They had conversations and quips I knew nothing about. I wanted to know them. Desperately. But I couldn’t ask them to tell me about a part of their life that I missed, when I wasn’t willing to tell them about a period of my life they missed.

  So instead, in a peculiar way, I almost feel as though I am a visitor at Belgrave, viewing everything before me with a spectator’s eye. I don’t care for it one bit.

  “Where’s Alex?” I abruptly ask.

  Serene hands Trace over to Rainey and hovers over her the entire time to make sure Rainey supports his head right. “Upstairs in her room.” She looks over her shoulder at me. “She’s like Étienne and loves her space.”

  “May I say hello?”

  Serene flings a hand my way. “Yes, yes. Of cour— Rainey, cradle him!”

  “I am! If I hold him any tighter, I might break a bone, Serene.”

  I leave the two of them bickering and hurry up the marble staircase. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat relieved to be out of the front foyer. I didn’t know when Asa would arrive and, truthfully, I didn’t want to stay downstairs to find out. My heart feels lighter as I walk down the hallway. It is one I can walk blindfolded, or backwards.

  I reach Alex’s room and see the door cracked. I lightly knock before I step into the room. Alex is sitting on the chair by one of the windows. For today’s occasion, Alex has a pale green dress on, with a white collar and a matching white ribbon holding half of her dark red hair back. Her legs swing back and forth, far too little to reach the floor. On her lap sits a book. I squint at the cover, trying to read the title, A Tale of Two Cities.